Illusion ( part 2) - Happiness (2)

 

As Jack sat in the park after his morning walk. His wife Jill came and slumped next to him. Jill had completed her 30-minute jog. Jill said she was not happy in life. Jack looked up at her in sheer disbelief since she seemed to have the best of everything in life.

"Why do you think so?" asked Jack.

"I don't know. Everyone tells I have everything needed, but I am not happy" said Jill.

Jack questioned himself, whether he was happy. "No," was his inner voice reply. Now, that was an eye-opener for Jack. Jack began his quest to understand the real cause of his unhappiness, he couldn't find one.

Jack dug deeper, read articles, spoke to life coaches but nothing made sense. At last his doctor friend gave him a hormonal answer which put all his immediate questions and doubts to rest.

The doctor said that there are four hormones which determine a human's happiness - Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin. It is important we understand these hormones, as we need all four of them to stay happy.

Let's look at the first hormone the Endorphins. When we exercise, the body releases Endorphins. This hormone helps the body cope with the pain of exercising. We then enjoy exercising because these Endorphins will make us happy. Laughter is another good way of generating Endorphins. We need to spend 30 minutes exercising every day, read or watch funny stuff to get our day's dose of Endorphins.

The second hormone is Dopamine. In our journey of life, we accomplish many little and big tasks, it releases various levels of Dopamine. When we get appreciated for our work at the office or at home, we feel accomplished and good, that is because it releases Dopamine. This also explains why most housewives are unhappy since they rarely get acknowledged or appreciated for their work. Once, we join work, we buy a car, a house, the latest gadgets, a new house so forth. In each instance, it releases Dopamine and we become happy. Now, do we realize why we become happy when we shop?

The third hormone Serotonin is released when we act in a way that benefits others. When we transcend ourselves and give back to others or to nature or to the society, it releases Serotonin. Even, providing useful information on the internet like writing information blogs, answering people's questions on Quora or Facebook groups will generate Serotonin. That is because we will use our precious time to help other people via our answers or articles.

The final hormone is Oxytocin, is released when we become close to other human beings. When we hug our friends or family Oxytocin is released. Similarly, when we shake hands or put our arms around someone's shoulders, various amounts of Oxytocin is released.

Now, we can understand why we need to hug a child who has a bad mood. So, it is simple, we have to exercise every day to get Endorphins, we have to accomplish little goals and get Dopamine, we need to be nice to others to get Serotonin and finally hug our kids, friends, and families to get Oxytocin and we will be happy. When we are happy, we can deal with our challenges and problems better.

The above story from Jack and Jill provides an insight into what happens at a hormonal level in a human body.

Based on this if I generate the above hormones through exercise, accomplishing goals, being nice and hugging friends and family then I should be happy right ?

No not exactly. Exercising, accomplishing goals, being nice and hugging friends and family are activities that generate certain feel good thoughts due to the conditioning that has been developed over time in a human brain. Certain thoughts through conditioning are more likeable than others and these thoughts are associated with a release of hormones such as Oxytocin, Dopamine and Serotonin, which in turn are linked to emotions and feelings of happiness. If the conditioning that a desirable activity makes you happy is changed to an undesirable activity, then an undesirable activity (as long as you replace the previous conditioning) can have the same effect on the hormones.

This is the amazing story of the illusion that, that which appears to make one happy is in actual fact only a conditioning or an association that can be completely rewired. 

Does that mean I can change what experiences trigger the above hormones if I retrain my mind ?

Absolutely you can. It is a well known fact that thoughts need hormones to change the physiology of a being. Changing the source can change the end result, but let us explore how to do that in the next post.