Spiritual Journey (part 1) - Relationship

 

Jack and Jill had been married for 25 years, this week was their 25th marriage anniversary. Jack was wondering what gift he should get for Jill. He knew Jill loved diamond jewellery, so he decided to visit the local jewellery store. As he entered the jewellery store he was surprised to see how big the jewellery store was and the large range of jewellery that was there. He was confused, he thought to himself, I have never seen so many different types of rings, bracelets, necklaces, ear rings, how am I going to find the right one for Jill.

As he was standing there dazed, thinking about what to do, an elderly sales lady approached him and asked him "Are you ok sir, can I help you?". He explained his quandary and told her I am really confused, what should I do.

The sales lady smiled at him and said " Jewellery is all about relationships". Jack was even more confused now. The sales lady explained " You buy jewellery based on the relationship you have with whom you are buying for. For example this set of jewellery is for people who have a budding relationship or have a short term relationship and the costs reflect this as well, these range from $10 to $150. If you are not committed to a relationship or you don't know where your relationship might take you, you can start with a small investment". Then the sales lady moved to another section of the store and the jewellery here appeared to be more expensive. The lady said " this here is for people who have been in a relationship for a while or have a big event, such as a wedding, engagement or a major milestone like your 25th marriage anniversary. This jewellery is more expensive and shows your commitment to a relationship".

Jack was amazed at how simply the sales lady had categorised the jewellery into relationship value. He pointed to another section of the store and queried " what about these ones here, there appears to be a wide range of jewellery here that is neither in the short term or the long term relationship category". The sales lady exclaimed " ah those ones, I call them the mischief category. When you get into mischief and you want to apologise, these are the ones you give as a gift. Or you may be about to do something that you know your partner will not like and you give a pre-emptive gift".

After the world of Jewellery was all explained to Jack, Jack picked a ring for Jill and as he was walking home he reflected, everything is about relationships. My relationship with Jill, her relationship with Jewellery and more broadly how both of us relate to everything around us. Jack wondered what about people when they buy jewellery for themselves, what relationship are investing in ? Must be the relationship they have with themselves. He pondered more deeply on this question of why would I buy jewellery for myself and what relationship is it that is driving me to act. Who needs the jewellery, he wondered, it is me obviously, but who is this me, who in me needs it. Its not my body, as the body can survive without it, not the mind even, perhaps it is the ego which says if I have it I will look good and my self worth will increase. So the  relationship I am investing in when I am buying jewellery for myself is my egoic identity.

Jack suddenly wondered, what else am I doing that is investing in this egoic identity of Jack. He though about his car, his house, his job, his relationships with everyone else. As he reflected more on this, he thought to himself, so who am I, if I am not this Jack that I think I am and that I have been madly investing in throughout my life and what is my relationship with that which I truly am.  Jack was a very smart, structured and logical thinker, but this question was one he had no answer to.

Jack went home and asked Jill about his questions. Jill said " I don't know, but there is someone who may be able help us, tomorrow is Sunday if you want we can go there tomorrow".

So it was Sunday morning Jack and Jill went up this huge mountain and by the time they reached the mountain top, it was already midday. 

Nestled in the mountains was this peaceful monastery, surrounded by beautiful cherry blossoms and maple trees. As it was spring the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the monastery looked very picturesque. Both Jack and Jill took in the beautiful scenery, the fresh mountain air, the sound of the birds and the distant stream, snow covered mountains and stood there awe struck. They had never come across such a beautiful place and for sometime they forgot why they were there. 

Then Jill remembered and asked Jack, "didn't you have some questions, you wanted an answer to". It was as if Jack suddenly was brought down to earth and he exclaimed "ah yes my questions".

Both Jack and Jill entered the monastery, inside there was a huge statue of buddha with half closed eyes sitting in a meditative posture.  At the base of the statue sat an old monk in a cross legged posture, with eyes closed and in front of him a huge hall completely empty. Jill whispered " I think he is the master, lets try and ask him your questions".

Jack and Jill walked up to the monk and sat in front of him, waiting for him to open his eyes, while awestruck with the glow and peace on the monk's face. The monk had a shaven head with a white beard and was wearing a saffron coloured robe.

After some time the monk opened his eyes and said " The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart".

"What does that mean ?" said Jack.

"I think he means the answer to your question of Who am I ? And what is your relationship with this I lies in your heart" said Jill. 

Jack said " I have already tried to reflect and found that I am not all the things I have collected or experienced, I am not this body or this mind, or the thoughts in the mind, perhaps I am this egoic identity that I have built over time called Jack".

The monk said " that which you say is not you is what ?"

"Its an experience" said Jill.

"What is the nature of the experience ?" asked the monk.

"its always changing and there are infinite types of experiences" said Jack.

"So is your ego changing" asked the monk.

"yes it is" said Jack.

"So that means it too is an experience" exclaimed Jill.

"If you are not any of these experiences, and yet you enjoy all these experiences who are you ?" asked the monk.

"I am the witness, the experiencer" said Jack.

"That's right, so your relationship with everything is that of experiencing" said the monk.

The monk then closed his eyes and said "lets do an experiment"

"First close your eyes, and sit comfortably and relax your body" said the monk.

"Now just do as I say. Imagine you are entering this monastery, I want you to leave everything you have outside the monastery door, your bag, your water bottle, all your physical belongings. Also leave any ideas, any concepts you might have of what we are going to do now. Leave any thoughts you may have of your past, present or your future outside the door. Now let go of everything, even the desire to find an answer to your questions. Just relax and empty yourself of everything, every concept, every idea, everything for the time being.

 Now tell me that which you now are, does it have a name ?"

"No name" said Jack and Jill.

 

" Can you see it " asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

"Can you hear it" asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

"You can't see it, you can't hear it, does it have any qualities at all" asked the Monk

"No qualities" said Jack and Jill

 

"Does it have a place ?" asked the Monk.

"No place" said Jack and Jill

 

"How far is it ?" said the Monk

"No distance" said Jack. "It is here" said Jill

 

"When was it born" said the Monk

"Don't know" said Jack and Jill

 

"Does it die" said the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

"So it is neither born, nor it dies" said the Monk

"yes" said Jack and Jill

 

"Is it always there" asked the Monk

"yes" said Jack and Jill

 

"Does it ever change" asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

" Are there many of these" asked the Monk

"No just one" said Jack and Jill

 

"Is there any limit to it" asked the Monk

"No limit" said Jack and Jill

 "So that which you are has no name, no qualities, it does not belong to a place, it is here and now, it is neither born, nor it dies, it is always there, it never changes, it is the only one and it is limitless. Is that right ?" asked the Monk

"yes" said Jack and Jill.

 "Did you imagine all this" asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

"You can open your eyes now. Tell me all the things that you left outside, what are they ?" asked the Monk.

"They are not the real me" said Jack. "They are all an illusion, they are all changing experiences" said Jill

"I am the experiencer of all these experiences" said Jack.

"That's right, that is your true relationship with everything, you are the experiencer of all the experiences that are out there, no husband, no father, no son, no owner, you are the witness of all that is" said the Monk.

"You have travelled far, soon it will be dark, it is time for you to go, you can come again" said the Monk and with a little bow, he closed his eyes again.

Jack and Jill bowed to the monk and walked out of the monastery, suddenly realising, the sun had already set and they needed to hurry to get home before dark.

As they walked Jill asked Jack "did you get the answers to your questions"

Jack said "My mind was blown away, all the misconceptions I had about me were shattered. I know now, I am birth less, deathless, eternal, never changing, with no attributes and I am the experiencer that experiences everything. That which I thought was me was an egoic identity that is nothing but another experience. The real me is beyond all the experiences. We must come here again next Sunday".

"For me, the experiment made everything so real for me. All the time I was in peace, I had forgotten everything. I think I am going to practice to be empty and drop everything as the monk taught us " said Jill.

As they walked past the monastery, there on the monastery gates, on a black board they saw the following thought of the day and it all started to make sense.

Nothing ever exists entirely alone. Everything is in relation to everything else.

- Buddha

 

 Spiritual Journey (part 2) - Emptiness, Spiritual Journey (part 3) - Power of Perspective