Spiritual Journey (part 2) - Emptiness

 

It was Saturday evening, almost a week since Jack and Jill had first met the monk in the monastery on the mountain. Both had been reflecting on their activities of the past week. It had been a busy week at work for both of them, however in the evenings they had some time to reflect on their visit to the monk.

Jack was a computer engineer and as such logic, structured thinking and problem solving was a big part of his day to day work life. The logic of the experience and the experiencer that the monk had taken them through appeared to be sound and the direct experience of the self that the monk had given them through the guided experiment was also undeniable. However his logical mind was still trying to come to terms with "everything that changes is an experience". That  means all that I can sense with my senses is just an experience, and all the things that I used to think are me are really just experiences, as they are ever changing. This was very hard to grasp, as all his conditionings and  beliefs had centred around a different version of self then what the monk had introduced to them.

Jill on the other hand was a arts major and very creative, passionate and intuitive, to whom music, creative writing and singing came naturally. Jill in her creative pursuits had realised, that there was a source that was far more creative than her, which was the source of her inspiration and intuition. The experiment that the monk got them to do, triggered a state of immense bliss in her, a bliss she had experienced at times when she was in an elevated creative state that she called the "zone". Jill had unsuccessfully tried to be in the state of emptiness that the monk had taken them into during the week and had been wondering what was the missing ingredient.

Jack and Jill got up early morning on Sunday and made their way expectantly up the mountain, both pondering over their respective questions in silence and keen to meet the monk. As they reached the summit of the mountain, the sun was just rising. The monastery and the cherry blossoms appeared even more beautiful in the golden rays of the morning sun. The rays of the rising sun were slowly lighting up the trees, the mountain, the cherry blossoms and the monastery. It was a spectacular sight, both of them stood awe struck at the beauty that was unfolding as the sun rose from behind the mountain.

 

It was a good fifteen minutes until the sun had completely drenched the mountain in its golden rays that they realised the purpose of their visit. Jack and Jill entered the monastery and as before saw the monk seated at the base of the huge statue of Buddha. This time though his eyes were open and in front of him was a small table with a teapot and a cup of tea. He asked both of them to sit down and asked Jill to pour him a cup of tea.

As Jill started pouring the tea, the monk said "keep pouring the tea until I ask you to stop". Jill filled up the cup and she looked up at the monk, but the monk just gazed at the cup and said nothing. Jill continued pouring the team and the cup was now overflowing and the tea made its way onto the table and then finally onto the floor. Then at last the monk asked Jill to stop pouring the tea.

Jack and Jill both looked puzzled at each other and at the monk. Based on their last meeting with the monk they had realised by now that the monk had a deeper insight into people and was able to read their minds. Before they could say anything, the monk asked Jack "you wanted to find your true self didn't you".

"Yes" said Jack.

"Just like the cup here, your cup is full and overflowing with all the ideas about yourself. You must empty it first or else whatever I am about to tell you will overflow like the tea and make its way onto the floor" said the monk.

Looking at Jill the monk said "You wanted to be empty, but every day you fill up your cup with thoughts of your work, which you are thinking about all the time. Your cup is full too, it must be emptied too".

"So what should we do" asked Jack and Jill.

"Remember the last time you were completely empty of concepts, ideas and thoughts" asked the monk.

"Last Sunday, when we were here" said Jack and Jill.

"That is correct. What about when you stood gazing at the sunrise today before you entered the monastery ?" asked the monk.

"Yes that too" said Jack and Jill suddenly realising that the monk appeared to know what they had been doing even when he wasn't there.

"Tell me what were you thinking as you looked at the scenic view in front of you this morning. Were you thinking about your work" asked the monk.

"No" said Jack and Jill.

"Were you even thinking about anything" asked the monk.

"Nothing" said Jack and Jill.

"Did you realise how long you had been standing there. Did you even realise you had been standing like that for a good fifteen minutes" asked the monk.

"No" said Jack and Jill quite surprised, as they had both lost track of time as they had gazed at the rays of the rising sun lighting up the mountain.

"At that time were you even aware of why you were here and who you were" asked the monk.

"No" said Jack and Jill.

"But you felt it was the most exhilarating experience you ever had and you were very alive and alert" asked the monk.

"Yes" said Jack and Jill.

"You had no sense of time, no sense of why you were here, who you were, no thoughts, yet very alive and alert, is that correct ?" asked the monk.

"Yes" said Jack and Jill.

"In other words you were completely empty of all ideas, concepts of yourself, of all thoughts. As empty as you were when you did the experiment with me and also as empty as you were when you first came up the mountain and you saw the cherry blossoms the first time" said the monk.

"Yes" said Jack and Jill, a bit taken aback with the relative ease with which the monk had connected their disparate experiences, as if he was watching them all the time.

"That is your natural state, empty of all ideas, concepts, substance, time. You are beyond time and as I mentioned last week, that which you are has no name, no qualities, it does not belong to a place, it is here and now, it is neither born, nor it dies, it is always there, it never changes, it is the only one and it is limitless" said the monk.

"Now tell me have you ever been in this state of emptiness before ?" asked the monk.

"Yes, especially when I am in the creative 'zone', I loose track of time, I loose track of the past and the future, I feel I am in an extremely alert but blissful state" said Jill.

"I have been in a state of emptiness when I skied the first time. All my attention was focussed on trying to navigate the slope without falling." said Jack.

"Yes there are different degrees of emptiness, for example

• at times you may have little or no attention on the activity you are doing, your actions are on auto-pilot driven by your conditionings, habits, feelings and desires, without any intellect. At such times you are the least empty;
• at times your attention is strongly on an activity and you have excluded all other activities. However just like when you were skiing, you were still aware of the intention to avoid falling in the background. The mind / intellect is still active even though in the background, as awareness only. Due to your awareness you are an observer of the activity and as well as of whether you are empty or not and if not empty then to what degree you are empty; and
• at times your attention is so strongly on an activity, that you and the activity become one, this is what Jill refers to as the 'zone'. In this state your mind does not exist and you are the most empty.

The more empty you become, the more aligned you become to your natural self" said the monk. 

"Is there a way to become more empty ?" asked Jack.

The monk said "Your natural state is emptiness and you do not need to do anything to be empty, however over time you have accumulated so much ignorance about your true self, that a more concerted effort is necessary to free the mind from these false beliefs and indoctrinations that have been adopted.

Some of the things that can make you empty either for a short time or for prolonged periods are -

• Become one with nature. Nature is the truest form of how we are meant to be - empty. We came empty handed and we will leave empty handed - what is not understood is that we are meant to live empty handed. no collection, no hoarding no grasping, no holding on. The entire universe is emptiness, to become one with it a person needs to be empty. When you see a tree observe the leaves of the tree, observe their colour, observe the bushes and the flowers around you next time you walk through a garden. Next time you go to the beach watch the waves crashing on the beach or the rocks. There is a certain peace, harmony and balance in nature. As you observe this balance you become yourself balanced and empty. You had the same experience when you saw the sunrise this morning.

• Enjoy what you do. There are three key types of way that people do work -
• When people grumble or complain when they do anything or any work. Everything they do where they complain and grumble becomes hard work and is a burden. This fills you up with resentment, quite the opposite of becoming empty. The more baggage you collect the more longer the journey to drop it.
• There are those people who do their duty. They do what the process demands neither more nor less. They do things because they have been told or trained to do things a certain way. There is no resentment or baggage here, however the issue arises when they have to do things that they don’t like or are not aligned to the outcomes they seek and then they end up complaining and building resentment. This creates baggage which can gradually accumulate.
• There are times that a person gets engrossed in whatever they do loosing sense of time and outcomes as well. In this state you are said to be in the “zone” or “flow”. A number of musicians and athletes have experienced this state. It appears Jill you have experienced this state as well. This doesn’t happen always but when it does the person begins to enjoy whatever they do, becomes one with what they are doing and becomes empty. In this state neither any baggage is collected nor the past baggage that has been collected interferes with the present activity. This is the preferred way of maintaining emptiness.
• Develop the power of perspective. When you observe a tree from one angle it appears in a certain way, when you observe it from a different angle, it appears different. There are no two perspectives that are the same. Observing things from only one lens or perspective gives one a biased viewpoint. Hence it is important to recognise that every perspective is just that - a perspective. It’s not real. Nothing in this life is real or permanent. The more perspectives we can observe things from, the more wiser we become, which in turn makes us more detached and which makes us more empty. Of course realising that all that you can perceive is an illusion, instantly puts everything in perspective.
• In addition to the power of perspective, another great way of creating detachment is awareness. Being aware of and a witness to everything creates a distance between the experience and the experiencer. Being in awareness puts everything in perspective. Start simple, initially by just observing nature, then moving on to your breath, feelings and then your thoughts, all the time being aware of who you are or even the act of observing. Slowly but surely you will develop a balanced perspective.
• Become like the river continuously flowing holding on to nothing enjoying the journey of life. Life too is continuously flowing it holds on to nothing, every moment is different and new. To experience every moment of life in it’s entirety full attention is required on the present. When there is full attention on the present, one’s mind becomes automatically empty.

In summary our natural state is emptiness, we are already empty and we do not need to do anything to be empty, however to let go of the ignorance we have accumulated over time a more concerted effort is necessary".

"I do have some home work for you both" said the monk.

"Jack, I want you to cultivate being aware that you are an experiencer in your day to day activities. Initially you can start with small mundane tasks, gradually building up to more complex tasks, till it becomes automatic" said the monk.

"Jill you need to try being in the 'zone' at least twice a day initially and then gradually increasing to all activities you do. If you struggle initially, use nature or your work to cultivate it, till it comes naturally and automatically" said the monk.

Jack being the intellectually driven asked the monk the reason for a different homework for both of them. To which the monk replied "Just like the doctor prescribes different medicine for different ailments, the master must prescribe home work based on what the student needs. I want you to practice for a month and come back and share your progress. If you do have any questions, you can leave a message on the general number of the monastery and I will call you back". 

Both Jack and Jill thanked and bowed to the monk who now they referred to as the master and took his leave, excitedly walking out of the monastery, keen to apply what they had learnt in their day to day lives.

As they walked past the monastery, there on the monastery gates, on a black board they saw the following thought of the day and it resonated with their learnings today.

"Like a thief entering an empty house, bad thoughts cannot in any way harm an empty mind" 

 Spiritual Journey (part 1) - Relationship, Spiritual Journey (part 3) - Power of Perspective

Attachment and Love

 

A few thousand years back there was a great war at a place called Kurukshetra in India. During the war, it so happened that a famous warrior and Guru called Drona learnt of his son's death in the battlefield. He was immensely fond of his son and hearing of the news of his son's death, was greatly saddened and as a result decided to give up fighting and end his life. As he sat on the battlefield awaiting his death, he was approached by Krishna the King of Dwarka and also in whom Drona saw the divine. Drona asked Krishna, the reason for his loss and suffering when he really loved his son so much. Drona said "I sacrificed everything for my son, as I loved him so much". Krishna said "You did not love your son, you had attachment(Moh in Sanskrit) for him". "You never understood the difference between love and attachment. Love frees, but attachment binds and leads to suffering" said Krishna. "All that you did for your son your entire life was borne out of attachment and your expectations of him and this is the cause of your suffering now" said Krishna. Drona realised his mistake and finally made peace with his loss.

So what is this attachment ?

The dictionary meaning of attachment is - an extra part or extension that is or may be attached to something to perform a particular function.

The question is what is attached to what and how is it born ?

That which is attached can be an object or a concept of affection which becomes attached to the egoic self or the personal identity.

When a baby is born, the baby has no identity, the name is given and the attachment to the name develops. The baby is told they are a boy or a girl and he/she becomes attached to his/her gender. The baby is told they have a mother and a father and gradually it becomes attached to its parents. This sense of egoic identity starts growing as the attachments grow and then one day you ask a child who they are, they recite their name, their gender, their place of birth, where they live, city/state/country of their birth and so on. All of these are things that they feel are what defines who they are. Thus the identity of a person is nothing but a set of labels, concepts and ideas that the person is now attached to. As the identity collects more and more labels, concepts and objects that either others have identified with it or the identity itself has collected, the attachments also correspondingly grow.

 Are desires or cravings attachments too and what about beliefs ?

Lets say you have a desire for an expensive handbag, you fulfil the desire and then give the handbag away or treat it like just another handbag, your attachment was built up and then given up. However on the other hand if the desire for an expensive handbag either starts redefining your choices or becomes an obsession with collecting expensive handbags, your attachment to expensive handbags has started creating a bondage for you. It has started constraining your life, especially if you have limited money or if you have limited time and you spend excessive time dwelling on either looking for a bag or obsessing with it.  Any desire you adopt, which then becomes part of your egoic identity to the point that if expectations of that desire are not met, is an attachment.

Similarly one can either adopt or collect beliefs about a particular celebrity, politician or even types of food, which the egoic identity becomes so attached to, that the person obsesses with the particular celebrity or a specific type of food, leading to a constrained life.

Desires, conditionings, false beliefs, indoctrinations, these are all attachments that bind a person.

What are the different types of attachments ?

Attachments can be either adopted unconsciously, as blind beliefs or indoctrinations or they can be consciously adopted such as desires.

I can understand how attachments are born and how they grow, but how do they cause suffering ?

Lets say you are born in a certain country, in a certain state and go to a certain school. Now if someone critiques any of these and if you have a strong attachment to them, you feel bad, or if someone praises either your school or your country or your state, you feel proud. This roller coaster of emotions arises primarily due to the strong attachments and identification of the said concepts and objects. Anytime your expectations with respect to your attachments are not met, you then experience suffering. Drona in the above story had certain expectations of his son, how long he will live and what he will achieve. His attachment to his son was so strong that he felt that a part of his identity died when he heard the news of his son's death and he felt his life was not worth living.

Attachments lead to expectations, projections, desires and clinging. When the thing you desire cannot be met, there is suffering.

How can I know whether I am attached or not ?

When you have any expectations from a particular object or concept, it means you are attached to it. On the other hand if you have a state of indifference towards the object or concept you are free from attachments related to that object or concept.

Does that mean that whenever I say I love something, do I love them or am I attached to them?

The word love can be used in different contexts, for example when I say "I love candy", "I love my car" or "I love my house" or "I love talking", colloquially speaking you mean you like the object or action. It does not mean you are either attached to them or you love them, attachment only arises once you start having strong expectations from any of the concepts, objects or actions to the point that it creates bondage, which will lead to suffering.

It would appear that everything that I thought I loved is either an attachment or something I fleetingly like. What then is love ?

Perhaps this story adapted from Rumi's (a 13th century Persian poet) Masnavi works (translated by Maryam Mafi) sums up love.

A man desperately in love, arrived at the house of his beloved and enthusiastically knocked on the door.

"Who's there ? asked the lady.

"Its me" declared the man full of hope.

"Go away, there is no place for someone like you in this house, you declare yourself as 'me' and still proclaim your undying love for me? A lover who only sees himself is no lover at all, but needs to roast in the fire of separation until he's properly cooked."

She refused to open the door and the distraught man eventually backed away. Burning with the pain of separation and after a year of travelling from place to place, he gathered enough courage to approach his beloved's home again and knocked at the door.

"Who's there ? asked the lady.

"No one! The one on this side of the door is also you" expressed the man humbly.

"Now that you have stopped seeing only yourself, you have become me at last!. Two people could never exist simultaneously in this house. Now you can enter as there is no difference between us any more, we are one and the same."

Based on the above story, when the object of affection and the subject become one, then there is love. History is littered with countless stories of such types of love.

Isn't this type of love very difficult to achieve ?

Yes and No. It is very easy to cultivate this type of love, if and only if you can surrender yourself completely to the object of your love. However most people are so strongly identified with their attachments or their egoic identities, that they cannot let go or surrender. This is the reason it can take years of practice to get rid of one's attachments to false beliefs and indoctrinations.

The more stronger a person's attachments and egoic identity, the harder it is to be in love. The moment you drop your egoic identity, you are free to become one with any object, concept or experience. It can happen in a second or it can take lifetimes, it all depends on one's readiness to let go and discover themselves.

Does this mean I can be one with anything, a person, a concept, a physical object, a divine form ?

Yes. In this state of love you can become one with your chosen deity or god or anything physical you may choose and will adopt the attributes of the object of love. In such a state of love your egoic identity no longer exists, you are in a state of bliss, the object no longer matters, in fact you become one with existence and all there is then, is just existence.

Kabir Das a 15th century Indian mystic and saint summed this up in one of his poems.

Jab Main Tha Tab Hari Nahin Ab Hari Hai Main Naaheen.

Prem Galee Ati Saankaree Jaamen Do Na Samaaheen.

When I the egoic identity is there, then Hari (meaning divine) is not there and when Hari is, I the egoic identity is not there. The alley of love is so narrow that only one of us can be in it at a time.

Once the I of the egoic identity disappears, all that remains is love, which some call it the divine, others call it stillness, existence, Brahman or Dao.

What is the benefit of this type of love ?

When you are in this state of love, you are free from suffering, you don't waste countless hours running in circles around false beliefs, indoctrinations, limiting habits and worrying about inconsequential things. You begin to see everything for what it is, minus all the conditionings and prejudices, you become free and liberated.

What do I need to do to be in this state of love ?

In actual fact everyone is already in this state of love, unfortunately the egoic identity and attachments to various indoctrinations have completely covered it all up. To re-discover this state, the ignorance associated with egoic identity needs to be removed. It can be achieved through any of the paths below -

• Path of devotion, wherein one picks a deity and worships it, till they become one with it.
• Path of action, wherein one surrenders their doer ship and they become one with the activity they perform
• Path of energies, wherein one uses meditative practices to realise who they are and achieve oneness.
• Path of knowledge, wherein one gains the essential knowledge about the self, the illusion and becomes one with existence

There are many other paths that can be chosen, whatever the path, an experienced guru is highly recommended.

The journey on the above paths could take a while, is there something I can do to avoid collecting attachments in the short term ?

Not exactly, any of the paths can take you to your goal instantly, it all depends on how quickly you are willing to let go of your impurities.

There are two things you can do to avoid collecting attachments and suffering in the interim -

• Be in awareness and conscious when you pick an attachment to anything. Unfortunately most of the attachments are collected in an unconscious state.
• Even if you have already pick up certain attachments, be a witness, by being in awareness all the time, which will enable you to avoid acting on the compulsions of the attachments.

If you are in awareness most of the time, attachments will never unconsciously form and even if they do actions carried out in awareness will not cause suffering. As the attachments reduce and surrender develops, love will begin to develop.

 

Spiritual Journey (part 1) - Relationship

 

Jack and Jill had been married for 25 years, this week was their 25th marriage anniversary. Jack was wondering what gift he should get for Jill. He knew Jill loved diamond jewellery, so he decided to visit the local jewellery store. As he entered the jewellery store he was surprised to see how big the jewellery store was and the large range of jewellery that was there. He was confused, he thought to himself, I have never seen so many different types of rings, bracelets, necklaces, ear rings, how am I going to find the right one for Jill.

As he was standing there dazed, thinking about what to do, an elderly sales lady approached him and asked him "Are you ok sir, can I help you?". He explained his quandary and told her I am really confused, what should I do.

The sales lady smiled at him and said " Jewellery is all about relationships". Jack was even more confused now. The sales lady explained " You buy jewellery based on the relationship you have with whom you are buying for. For example this set of jewellery is for people who have a budding relationship or have a short term relationship and the costs reflect this as well, these range from $10 to $150. If you are not committed to a relationship or you don't know where your relationship might take you, you can start with a small investment". Then the sales lady moved to another section of the store and the jewellery here appeared to be more expensive. The lady said " this here is for people who have been in a relationship for a while or have a big event, such as a wedding, engagement or a major milestone like your 25th marriage anniversary. This jewellery is more expensive and shows your commitment to a relationship".

Jack was amazed at how simply the sales lady had categorised the jewellery into relationship value. He pointed to another section of the store and queried " what about these ones here, there appears to be a wide range of jewellery here that is neither in the short term or the long term relationship category". The sales lady exclaimed " ah those ones, I call them the mischief category. When you get into mischief and you want to apologise, these are the ones you give as a gift. Or you may be about to do something that you know your partner will not like and you give a pre-emptive gift".

After the world of Jewellery was all explained to Jack, Jack picked a ring for Jill and as he was walking home he reflected, everything is about relationships. My relationship with Jill, her relationship with Jewellery and more broadly how both of us relate to everything around us. Jack wondered what about people when they buy jewellery for themselves, what relationship are investing in ? Must be the relationship they have with themselves. He pondered more deeply on this question of why would I buy jewellery for myself and what relationship is it that is driving me to act. Who needs the jewellery, he wondered, it is me obviously, but who is this me, who in me needs it. Its not my body, as the body can survive without it, not the mind even, perhaps it is the ego which says if I have it I will look good and my self worth will increase. So the  relationship I am investing in when I am buying jewellery for myself is my egoic identity.

Jack suddenly wondered, what else am I doing that is investing in this egoic identity of Jack. He though about his car, his house, his job, his relationships with everyone else. As he reflected more on this, he thought to himself, so who am I, if I am not this Jack that I think I am and that I have been madly investing in throughout my life and what is my relationship with that which I truly am.  Jack was a very smart, structured and logical thinker, but this question was one he had no answer to.

Jack went home and asked Jill about his questions. Jill said " I don't know, but there is someone who may be able help us, tomorrow is Sunday if you want we can go there tomorrow".

So it was Sunday morning Jack and Jill went up this huge mountain and by the time they reached the mountain top, it was already midday. 

Nestled in the mountains was this peaceful monastery, surrounded by beautiful cherry blossoms and maple trees. As it was spring the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the monastery looked very picturesque. Both Jack and Jill took in the beautiful scenery, the fresh mountain air, the sound of the birds and the distant stream, snow covered mountains and stood there awe struck. They had never come across such a beautiful place and for sometime they forgot why they were there. 

Then Jill remembered and asked Jack, "didn't you have some questions, you wanted an answer to". It was as if Jack suddenly was brought down to earth and he exclaimed "ah yes my questions".

Both Jack and Jill entered the monastery, inside there was a huge statue of buddha with half closed eyes sitting in a meditative posture.  At the base of the statue sat an old monk in a cross legged posture, with eyes closed and in front of him a huge hall completely empty. Jill whispered " I think he is the master, lets try and ask him your questions".

Jack and Jill walked up to the monk and sat in front of him, waiting for him to open his eyes, while awestruck with the glow and peace on the monk's face. The monk had a shaven head with a white beard and was wearing a saffron coloured robe.

After some time the monk opened his eyes and said " The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart".

"What does that mean ?" said Jack.

"I think he means the answer to your question of Who am I ? And what is your relationship with this I lies in your heart" said Jill. 

Jack said " I have already tried to reflect and found that I am not all the things I have collected or experienced, I am not this body or this mind, or the thoughts in the mind, perhaps I am this egoic identity that I have built over time called Jack".

The monk said " that which you say is not you is what ?"

"Its an experience" said Jill.

"What is the nature of the experience ?" asked the monk.

"its always changing and there are infinite types of experiences" said Jack.

"So is your ego changing" asked the monk.

"yes it is" said Jack.

"So that means it too is an experience" exclaimed Jill.

"If you are not any of these experiences, and yet you enjoy all these experiences who are you ?" asked the monk.

"I am the witness, the experiencer" said Jack.

"That's right, so your relationship with everything is that of experiencing" said the monk.

The monk then closed his eyes and said "lets do an experiment"

"First close your eyes, and sit comfortably and relax your body" said the monk.

"Now just do as I say. Imagine you are entering this monastery, I want you to leave everything you have outside the monastery door, your bag, your water bottle, all your physical belongings. Also leave any ideas, any concepts you might have of what we are going to do now. Leave any thoughts you may have of your past, present or your future outside the door. Now let go of everything, even the desire to find an answer to your questions. Just relax and empty yourself of everything, every concept, every idea, everything for the time being.

 Now tell me that which you now are, does it have a name ?"

"No name" said Jack and Jill.

 

" Can you see it " asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

"Can you hear it" asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

"You can't see it, you can't hear it, does it have any qualities at all" asked the Monk

"No qualities" said Jack and Jill

 

"Does it have a place ?" asked the Monk.

"No place" said Jack and Jill

 

"How far is it ?" said the Monk

"No distance" said Jack. "It is here" said Jill

 

"When was it born" said the Monk

"Don't know" said Jack and Jill

 

"Does it die" said the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

"So it is neither born, nor it dies" said the Monk

"yes" said Jack and Jill

 

"Is it always there" asked the Monk

"yes" said Jack and Jill

 

"Does it ever change" asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

 

" Are there many of these" asked the Monk

"No just one" said Jack and Jill

 

"Is there any limit to it" asked the Monk

"No limit" said Jack and Jill

 "So that which you are has no name, no qualities, it does not belong to a place, it is here and now, it is neither born, nor it dies, it is always there, it never changes, it is the only one and it is limitless. Is that right ?" asked the Monk

"yes" said Jack and Jill.

 "Did you imagine all this" asked the Monk

"No" said Jack and Jill

"You can open your eyes now. Tell me all the things that you left outside, what are they ?" asked the Monk.

"They are not the real me" said Jack. "They are all an illusion, they are all changing experiences" said Jill

"I am the experiencer of all these experiences" said Jack.

"That's right, that is your true relationship with everything, you are the experiencer of all the experiences that are out there, no husband, no father, no son, no owner, you are the witness of all that is" said the Monk.

"You have travelled far, soon it will be dark, it is time for you to go, you can come again" said the Monk and with a little bow, he closed his eyes again.

Jack and Jill bowed to the monk and walked out of the monastery, suddenly realising, the sun had already set and they needed to hurry to get home before dark.

As they walked Jill asked Jack "did you get the answers to your questions"

Jack said "My mind was blown away, all the misconceptions I had about me were shattered. I know now, I am birth less, deathless, eternal, never changing, with no attributes and I am the experiencer that experiences everything. That which I thought was me was an egoic identity that is nothing but another experience. The real me is beyond all the experiences. We must come here again next Sunday".

"For me, the experiment made everything so real for me. All the time I was in peace, I had forgotten everything. I think I am going to practice to be empty and drop everything as the monk taught us " said Jill.

As they walked past the monastery, there on the monastery gates, on a black board they saw the following thought of the day and it all started to make sense.

Nothing ever exists entirely alone. Everything is in relation to everything else.

- Buddha

 

 Spiritual Journey (part 2) - Emptiness, Spiritual Journey (part 3) - Power of Perspective

Surrender

 

Once there was a great Zen master called Banzan. He spent many years in the pursuit of enlightenment but it eluded him. Then one day as he was walking in the marketplace, he overheard a conversation between a butcher and a customer. “Give me the best piece of meat you have” said the customer. The butcher replied “ Every piece of meat I have is the best. There is no piece here that is not the best.”

Upon hearing this Banzan became enlightened.

So you are wondering how did this happen. When you accept what “is” every piece of meat - every moment - as perfect or is the best, you are enlightened.

At that point you are no longer trying to control, change, influence, aspire, achieve - you are content. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to impress. You have suddenly become free. A key element of achieving this freedom is you have surrendered to what “is”.

So what is this surrender ?

It is the art of letting go, relinquishing control to another. In the olden days when there were kingdoms that went to war, one of them would be winning and the other would surrender, preventing further bloodshed. Sometimes the surrender happened when one kingdom was close to being defeated, but sometimes it happened even before the war when one kingdom realised the supremacy of the other in their fighting ability. To avoid bloodshed they surrendered.

A key element of surrender is to give up control to someone more powerful or perceived to be more powerful. To surrender to another individual who is bigger, stronger and brighter than us, comes easy to all of us, however to surrender to someone who is equal to us or perceived by us to be weaker than us is hard.

Most of us have been brought up to be in control of our lives and hence we struggle to let go especially when it involves something as esoteric as the universe, nature or god. All of these are things that we rarely think are superior than us in our day to day activities, because their superiority is not visible (unless of course you are caught up in a natural disaster of some type). Our habit of being in control never allows us to let go.

This begs the question when to surrender?

Stephen Covey in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective people talks about - sphere of control and sphere of influence. He says highly effective people prioritise their effort on the sphere of control. In other words, they first focus on things they can control rather than things outside their sphere of control that they can only influence. Extending this thinking further, anyone who is trying to spend too much time on trying to control things in their sphere of influence (that is things they have no control over) such as how others behave, act and perceive you, they are not only ineffective but also become stressed and suffer anxiety in controlling uncontrollable things. It is these things that one cannot control one must surrender as a starting point. This is the secret of being effective and being stress free.

What about day to day items that are in my control should I surrender those too ?

On a day to day basis we are continually thinking of our goals, outcomes of our actions that we are trying to achieve. Always thinking about outcomes of our actions binds us to the results of our actions and makes us stressed if the expected outcome is not achieved.

Surrender of the outcomes of all day to day items is a must if you wish to lead a stress free and enjoyable life.

How can I surrender the outcomes while still not loosing control ?

Being in control and surrendering are mutually exclusive, you cannot have both at the same time. You have to choose between the two.

That is all very well, but when I get involved in an activity with a deadline or a target, I can't stop thinking about the outcome while doing the activity and this stresses me out. What can I do to not get entangled up ?

If like most people you are heavily outcome / achievement focussed, chances are you are always thinking about the outcomes all the time, possibly even in your dreams. If this is the case it is likely you are too vested in the outcomes and you see failure to achieve them as a personal defeat. In such a scenario a distance needs to be created between you and the outcome. Below are some things you can do -

• Become aware and observe yourself doing an activity, any activity as a starting point would be fine. The more you become aware, the more you observe and the more detached you become from the activity. This practice of being aware can be cultivated even while doing nothing, just watching your breath, the trees, birds, etc.

• Attend to one thing at a time, do not multi-task. The more you focus on a single task at a time, the more your attention / concentration grows and the longer your attention span. The more stronger the concentration the less you will have background thoughts about outcomes. If you want you can choose to be aware of the activity as an observer in the background, with a focus on just one task. This is called attention with awareness. There is a path of knowledge program specifically designed to help you achieve attention with awareness.

• The above two will sharpen your attention to a point where you are not easily distracted and the awareness practice will keep you detached from your outcomes and make you balanced. As you practice this, there will be times when you enter an absorbed state or a state of presence. You are no longer thinking, you are just in a state of flow, where neither the outcome matters, nor the journey matters, the present moment is all there is and you are in a state of bliss. In such a state, you have surrendered to the activity and become one with it. In this state you become an instrument of the universe, there is no doership, you are totally free from results of your actions.

If I surrender things in my life, won't I be out of control, I will miss all my work, study and day to day deadlines. I will never be able to accomplish anything. How is this effective ? Isn’t this asking me to not plan at all, just surrender?

No on the contrary your life becomes very easy. You still must plan, have goals, set targets and have a clear intent. Once your intent is clear and goals are set you must forget about them and focus on the task at hand initially through attention and awareness practices and eventually being in the “present “ moment by surrendering to the “what is” or the present. As you experiment with this you will find rather than missing deadlines you are achieving them well before time. This is something to be tried with small tasks until you grow in confidence in surrendering big things.

This is the only way you can enjoy what you are doing, avoid stress, focus on perfection, be deliberate and conscious in your actions and above all free from the results of your actions.

In summary surrendering like this makes you free of suffering, anxiety of achieving and above all frees you from me and mine and makes you one with the entire existence and above all, always in bliss.